Ghosts are stupid

Well, maybe men are. Or maybe it's just my male ghosts who are challenged?

Let me back up...

I am a modern day Ghostbuster...chasing down personal ghosts, zappin' 'em with my proton-pack, trying to exorcise them from my life.

Yup: I've been contacting men I've dated, well...men I've dated who've impacted me...to 'figure' some stuff out. There are four of them and, so far, I've hit up two (well, one was in town and hit me up. But I digress).

This one fool, TL, and, yes, I call him a fool and you shall see why, lives across the country. Is now married with two kids (I did NOT know this. Haven't spoken to him in six years). I looked him up on Linkedin and sent him an email TWO days ago. At first it was all good, nice and polite. Now I am getting emails asking me "Was being with me more than mere frivolity? Did I stir your soul? Are you thinking about the sexual heights we reached and are sorry you didn't explore more?"

NEGRO...I asked how old your kids were and if you had boys/girls or both! How did we get HERE?

He told me he couldn't ignore the green light to look into my soul. WTF?

Call me old fashioned, but I do not think these are appropriate questions for a married man to be asking. I said "hey...how have you been" and he sends me a sonnet. I ask him if his wunderlust has been cured-he used to speak of travel- and he replies "No, it hasn't and my answer has many meanings."

Get the fuck out of here.

This negro seems, at the very worse, primed to cheat, or, at the very least, shady as hell for spewing this kind of shit when he has a wife and two crumb snatchers at home. Maybe I am reading too much into it but I don't think I'd want MY husband telling some chick he proposed to TWICE that he wanted to look into her soul and asking her about sex.

So, yeah...I am getting a clear look into the man Mr. Lt. Commander has become and, frankly, am not feeling regret-ish about this one AT ALL.

I can't come up with a clever segue so I'm going to dive right into this next thing...

Over at Very Smart Brothas, folks are sitting in wet spots, reflecting on those lovers who had them so caught up that they lost their minds: freaking in their offices at work, steaming up windows in a parked cars behind $500,000 condos, getting busy in the Raw Bar's bathroom, touching pe-pes in public just to make sure it was still there and ready for you. Please know that I have not done any of these things. I just have an active imagination.

Thinking about being sprung makes me think about EJJ. One of my other ghosts. He happens to be in town. For five weeks. I told myself I was trying to do something different with my life. That I wasn't going to 'go there' with him. I was strong. I ignored the fact that he lost the weight he'd picked up the last time I saw him. I ignored all the new tattoos he'd gotten though they were hawt.

For 1.5 weeks there was a force field around me, making me immune to his segzy.

Sunday, though, was the day it came tumbling down.

We go to see his father's band play and, next thing you know, HE is on stage, playing keyboard (cutie plays 5 instruments) and singing about Jah Seed, Jah being the guiding light. All that good ish. I loves me some reggae. And I love a talented cutie.

I.was.done.

I was so done, I was making out on the street. If you knew me you'd know that I am not a PDA person so this by itself was shocking. What happened later was just down right derty. The car ride was, um, quite interesting. And hawt. I rolled home at 5 a.m., knowing I had to start work at 8:30. (Nevermind that work is done from my dining room table. I still had to get up and be alert).

Ain't no shame in this game.

But...this scares me. For real.

EJJ is on my top 1% list(y'all know what I'm talking about). If I lost my mind so quickly and so easily with him...I am terrified of confronting my other two ghosts.

WT now lives on the left coast so I seriously doubt I'll have an opportunity to bump uglies with him. But BJ? That fool haunts my regular haunts. He's been MIA for a while but he has a very bad habit of turning up JUST when I've erased him from my mind. I fear what will happen if we meet up, all Patron'd up.

Pray for my soul.

Today's score card: TL, representing for men=0, Cat = 123,590,213