August 3, 2009

She Needs to Stick With Her Cat

I can honestly say: I have never dated a guy for his "stuff". I'm not one who gets off on what a guy has: his car, his house, whatever. I truly believe that if you can't get it for yourself it ain't meant for you to have and you shouldn't try to cop somebody else's ish.

That said, I have dated guys who have had "stuff". A boat, a BMW, a Range Rover, etc. But I met them in places where I chatted them up a bit, got to see their personalities long before I saw the stuff. The dude with the boat I met at Target. Met the Beamer owner walking down the street. The dude who pimped the Range: met him at a reggae club.

I've also dated guys who didn't have a lot of stuff: a struggling musician, a graduate student, a DJ (not the stalker one. This DJ is still my boy!). Two of these dudes I met at the aforementioned reggae club (what can I say?). The other, at a Harold's Chicken. South side!

All this to say: I meet men and size them up based on their approach: are they witty? Can they make me laugh in the first sixty seconds? Can they say something that sparks my intellect? (And, let's be real: I check the visual, too!).

These are the things I value. "Stuff" doesn't it do it for me.

Now, just because I'm not a paper chaser or a car booty, doesn't mean I knock others who are. Do you. If you wanna dig a guy for his loot, that's on you.

I just ask that you be good at it. Don't be THIS chick.

Gold Digging FAIL | Dlisted

In the history of gold diggers, this chick has to be the worst. ever.

In short, she married a billionaire and left him because he wanted to have sex with her. The pre-nup was iron-clad: if she walked away, she got nothing.

She is quoted as having said "I just could not believe what he wanted me to do. He'd lean over while we were watching TV and grope me. That's not how married couples behave. He expected a feel of tit whenever he wanted, French-kiss him constantly and parade around the house in sexy underwear."

She's 24, he's 85. Did she think he was marrying her for her sparkling conversation and wit? NO. He married her because she had perky boobs. And I'm not buying the whole "I loved him bit". can conquer a lot. But I am extremely doubtful that it can conquer an almost 60 year age difference.

Here's the real: she thought she'd play this old dude for his cash but he ended up being more than she bargained for. Ashamed that she failed at gold digging, she's using the 'love' excuse. She needs to play in traffic because that story is about as believable as Queen Latifah telling the world her 'girlfriend'* is her 'trainer' (ummm...Queen, you've been with her for some time now and your body looks the same. What kind of workout are you doing?)

It's clear ol' Kristin isn't the brightest bulb in the box. She could have gone about things much differently and succeeded in her gold digging plan. A smarter woman would have:

Worked the lingerie angle and let him grope a boob now and then, she could have possibly avoided sex with him. If he was still insistent on getting busy, she could have poured them both a glass wine to 'set the mood'. Wine makes old people sleepy. If that didn't work, and he was still insistent, she could have chased her wine with a few shots of whiskey, taken a few tokes** and just suffered through it. How long could it have lasted? He's 80-freaking 5! Viagra can only do so much.

Had Kristin been bout it, she'd be living like a princess. Yes, the thought of having sexual relations with an 85 year old man when you yourself are well below the age of 70 is gross. That's why young people do not and should not marry really old people.

But if you're gonna go for the loot, you gotta go all out. In this case, she half-assed it and is now back at square one: living with her mother. It's a sad tale, really. And I know that, out there somewhere, there is a TRUE gold digger who is 'bout that loot, telling her friends what SHE would have done if ole Grandaddy Warbucks came knocking at her door.

So friends, what are your thoughts on Ms. Kristin? On gold diggers in general? If you're a guy, can you spot a gold digger? What are the signs? Also, gentlemen: have you ever dated a woman for her stuff? I'd like to know.

While I wait for your responses, I'll busy myself preparing Ms. Kristin's "Girl...stick wit yo cat" award. I will be sending it Federal Express, along with half a brain and a nut sack I found in the garbage.

*Gay or straight, she'll always be The Queen to me.
**This is why marijuana should be legal.


Assertive Wit said...

Yeah, this girl is a certified idiot. The fact that she's 24 and he's 85 is a signifying FACT, she wasn't marrying him for love...and let's play devils advocate and say she REALLY did love the walking carcass...if you love someone, why WOULDN'T you let him paw a tit whenever he wanted to? Hell, if I love you enough to marry you, I'm giving you some butt too, eff the dumb shat.

She needs more people for her "story" cause this just isn't believeable...Kristin, you lose. LOL

Shawn Smith said...

Ha ha, the men won this round.

V dot said...

@Assertive Wit: Right! If she DID love him, she wouldn't care if he wanted to touch the goodies.

@Shawn: Yeah, the men won this one.

Luvvie said...

She is dumber than a box of rocks sitting on top of a dunce stool. If you gon be anything, be the BEST you can be. IF you gon be a hoe or a gold digger (which can b mutually exclusive) be THE PREMIER! She shoulda been the best gold digger this side of the Equator. Instead, she massively FAILED. F her entire life.

ChiChi said...

How the FUCK do you marry somebody "for love" and not expect to give up the ass in any way, shape, or form?! ESPECIALLY, marrying and old ass man with 50 fajillion dollars?!?! EPIC FAIL...Like Titanic sized. *SMDH*

Nicki Sunshine said...

Kristin got what she derserved. A big. fat. NOTHING

Lite Bread said...,
Woo Wee! I died laughing reading this! Love the wit, tongue stuck in cheek (NO jokes on that one!).
Now, you asked a loaded set of questions there girl! Enough content you’ll tell me to start my own damn blog, lol. Sooooooo…..

My “stuff”? Good thing you talkin’ about my material affluence; and not “assets”, ‘cause, uh, I a whiteboy, LMAO.

All those fancy cars, huge houses and all the ‘bling’ is about Other People. See, as all of us learn, you dream of buying something new and all that anticipation an’ all, you get it, it’s so special for, what, 2 months? Then it’s just something you gotta pay for and maintain. There is even a bible proverb about never being able to ‘fill up’ on material assets; that they never really satisfy us. (Not to go all biblical on you or anything). “Stuff”, as you called it, is really about how you think other people are going to see you or evaluate your “worth”. What they will think of you. I’ve come to determine I can think of fewer more shallow ways to determine an individual’s value as a person than there social/material status. Big deal on that crap.

With that in mind, I purposely don’t have much any more that would give any true indication of my material situation. I live a modest material existence, by choice. She’d have no idea of my material worth from looking at me. She’d have to peek at the financial portfolio; and that ain’t happening until, what’d Beyonce’ say “Put a ring on it” So, I weed out any potential gold diggers by the simple fact she wouldn’t give me the time of day, based on what she saw. Anybody paying any kind of attention to me would have to do so because they like me. Which is the point.

Have I dated a gold digger? Married what turned out to be one; sort of. I was her ticket out of the “ghetto”, which, unfortunately, kinda described her, lol. I was young and dumb, ok. Loyal and committed, but still young and dumb.
But, V. dot, I’m probably going to be a large departure here, as a guy, in my thoughts on this. Not all concerns/evaluations about a man’s financial abilities or potential are gold digging. I don’t even blame the “ex” on this. Other things, yes; but her desire to change her circumstances, no. It is not wrong (in fact it’s smart) for a woman to have some idea about the guys work ethic, level of ambition and such. If she’s thinking long-term, I myself would question a woman who didn’t do that. See, it’s her life. Who wants a crappy one? If she has children at present (yes, I date single mom’s) she has their welfare to think of. If she wants children, can/will he provide at least a decent life? These are not “gold digging” concerns but honest life-matters. A man ought to be able to offer some level of basic material living for her and her family. I gotta be honest here, I’ve noticed a bad tendency of some guys to get all upset and call “Gold Digger” on a woman who is just vetting out if he’d even try and take care of her.

As far as girl Kristin, she did it all wrong. She shoulda gone all Adina Howard – “Freak Like Me” on him. Go Rough Rider. He’d have probably died right then and there, in the middle of it. She woulda been a well-taken care of widow at that point.
And ChiChi is So right!

And what does “SMDH” mean? (I once had to ask my kids about “chicken head”, but we won’t go into that …)

There. My novel.

V dot said...

Lite Bread: I agree there is a real difference between a woman wondering if a man is financially sound and one who is looking for a guy to foot the bill all the time, to have a fly car so she can ride and front in style, etc.

As you get older, you want a man who has a steady paycheck and a few goals. But I think if your requirements for a mate run along the lines of "he has to buy me designer bags and shoes often, he has to take me on international vacations all the time, he has to pay my bills, etc." you might be a gold digger. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And SMDH = shaking my damn head.

Yan Tan said...

hey hunn just stopping by showing your blog some love!!!


Come stop by sometime... ;-p

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