July 31, 2009

Get a Clue

Folks: I need your advice. Seriously.

Two years ago, I messed around with a - or so I thought at the time - hot Chicago DJ. It wasn't serious and, about six months in, I'd gotten bored with the situation and I just stopped answering the phone/calling him.

That was summer of 2007. I have only responded to TWO of his texts in the last two years:

One, a year ago, to tell him I had a boyfriend. I hoped that would get him to stop calling and texting me. The other, in January, telling him I was getting married. I figured that would do the trick. (I am not getting married, fyi. I lied). I was wrong.

About two or three times a month, he calls or texts (twice this week, one of them coming tonight) and he keeps doing so though he isn't getting any response from me. I haven't gone back to what used to be one of my favorite spots because he DJs there and I don't want him to see me and try to talk to me. His texts and calls are just too much at this point.

What should I do? Should I respond with a "LEAVE ME ALONE!" text? Or keep ignoring him? I thought he'd get the hint by now. What gives? Have other people gone through this? I'm curious.

Share your stories and advice.

Men have nothing on the cats.


Jubilance said...

I think men are cooler than cats, personally.

Now about this guy...clearly your "ignore him & he'll go away" tactic isn't working, so you have to go the direct route. Just tell him you aren't interested and that you'd like him to stop contacting you. Be firm, but don't be a bitch about it. If he keeps calling/texting after that then call up Pookie and nem and let them handle it.

Lite Bread said...

Just what kind of men do you gravitate toward? Seems to be a common thread somewhere in here, know what I’m sayin’?
You know that old adage “If I keep doing the same damn things, why do I expect a different outcome”?
Now, if he hasn’t gotten the point yet, what makes you think he will? Time for the “GO AWAY” reply (and yes, I’ve gotten a few. But not for over-persistence, lol). And don’t be surprised if you have to do THAT several times too.

Have I ever had this happen? A big LMAO! ME?! Heck, I’d welcome something beyond the ambivalence I seem to always be destined for.
But, I got close to doing it myself once. A few years ago met a woman (and her little girl) at an event, liked her, we made a few contacts (no, nothing physical. Please.) just “seeing”. Well, guess I liked her far more than she was comfortable with me (that whole “other option” thing again, lol) and I kept at it a bit to long. She finally texted me and it said “No Relationship”. LOL! (And why “text”? Do we all lack the guts to look people in the face anymore and just say it? Or use our voice on the phone, if distance is an issue?).
But I can take THAT hint, lol.

And it’s two blogs in 3 days!!!

Luvvie said...

Tell him to you're moving to a remote part of Alaska and will be out of contact to regular people for 50-70 yrs. Or you can tell him to "GO AWAY". I think the first is more entertaining though.

BlkBond said...

Just tell him you would like him to stop contacting you. What you had was cool, but you have moved on. Tell him you will be civil, cordial, and classy but you would like to move on and him contacting you is a hindrance. No attitude, keep a monotone. If there is an awkward silence, tell him you have to go, thanks him in advance for his understanding. Done.


Nicki Sunshine said...

Either change your number or tell him to leave you alone.

I don't understand why cellphone companies don't have a blocked feature yet though!

V dot said...


"I think men are cooler than cats, personally."

They've got you fooled. lol.

suga said...

I've been in this predicament lots of times. I'm pretty sure that directly saying "LEAVE ME ALONE" to a man who has consistently texted you for two years and has only received 2 responses, will still not get it.
He will never get it. He will be your text buddy for the rest of your life. lol

NaturallyAlise said...

Threaten with legal action and that you have the superfluous texts as stalking evidence. If he doesn't stop after than then I don't know what to tell ya...

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