September 10, 2008

Why Chicks Get Dumped


I have two brothers, one older and one younger. Over the years, they have unknowingly taught me valuable lessons about male/female relationships. Specifically: what not to do if you want to keep your man. I am in a generous mood so I will share a few of these tips.

My older brother cites two main reasons for ending his 10-year relationship with his common law wife/mother of his two children. He always cites them in the same order, as follows:

1. His beloved dog died, while in her care, while he was on vacation. The dog was a pit bull and, though his name was Satan spelled backwards, he was a docile pup, one who believed himself to be a poodle. While on a trip home to New Orleans, he left the dog with his woman. She, being slightly retarded (can you tell I never liked her?) took this dog to a friend's house. This friend had a pit bull also. A male. Any one with a squirrel's brain knows this is a recipe for disaster. The younger dog (Natas was 10) basically mauled my brother's four legged child. To make matters worse, his hood chick didn't even tell him till he got home the dog had died. Lesson: if your man leaves you with something he truly values, guard it with your life. It is a test. If you fail, it will seal your fate.

2. He'd come home from work and the kids would be in stained tees eating Ramen noodles from the tray on their strollers. My brother worked while his chick went back to school for her R.N. degree. She got home most days around 3. He got in just after 6. He was always disgusted to come home to see the fruits of his loins dirty and eating high sodium packaged foods. He could not take the fact that the living room was a mess. He knew she had classes but didn't understand why she couldn't pick up some shit and clean up the kids and give them real food for dinner. Lesson: a man likes a woman who takes care of business. Your kids are your business. Take care of them. Taking care of your kids also means making sure they are not running around in a filthy living room.***Side note: my brother now has full custody of these kids. ***

Not sure what it says about my brother that he ALWAYS mentions the dog incident before the unfed/dirty kids issue, but he ended this long-standing relationship, by his own admission, for these reasons. And, in true "why'd you hook up with that chick, ruining our good family name" fashion, she retaliated by breaking into and vandalizing his house.

Things did end up happily: my brother has been in a relationship for the last 3 years with a woman who also has two sons, who made Easter basket for his kids, complete with cotton ball bunny tails and whose kids are clean, well-behaved and well-fed. We even got a surprise nephew out of the deal (these fools are old enough to know betta but, hey, a baby is a blessing).

Learn from other's mistakes or you too will become a resident of Dumpsville. If you are allergic to learning shit and acting right, get yoself a cat.

3 Comments:

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

Homegirl failed on soo many levels. Had he STAYED with her, then he'da earned a mean side-eye.

NaturallyAlise said...

On number 1, so true, it caused major strife when I broke a SO's digital camera, AND I even replaced it AND they didn't lose any pics bc the memory card was in tact, and it STILL was a problem, men are real sensitive about their belongings, word.life!

rebecca said...
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