Deep down, we're all really 12...

On Saturday, I was invited by a (male) friend/former co-worker to a party at his house specifically set up for his single friends.

This gentleman, who has been boo'd up for months, wanted to spread the love. With his girl out of town, he decided to throw a party. He invited his most attractive single* male and female friends, with the hopes of making a few love connections.

I went, knowing that three of my friends had been invited. At the very least, I'd have some free booze, Doritos**, and a chance to catch up with my girls.

I get there, wearing a silk, dusty teal blouse with a ruffled collar, cut off jeans that give me an oh-so-perfect apple bottom, set off with black Cole Haan 3 1/2 open toe heels. I am greeted by a cutie - tall (!) and tattoed. Yet, I was disturbed by the sweater vest he was wearing. He had NOTHING underneath. I'd never seen this look before. I was confused.

Nevertheless, I soldiered on. I immediately saw my girls, along with another girl I knew, and made my way to say hello. The women at the party were beautiful. Top 2-percent. The men were cute. Only 2 out of 10 were busted. And only 4 out of 10 were pissy drunk. Good times all around.

I spent 80 percent of the night talking to my girls...we had a great time guessing which couple invited my white friend to join a threesome! As I looked around, I noticed the room was divided by gender...boys on one wall, girls on the other. The spades table was the only gender-neutral space. I was even kicked off the back porch by a guy who, in Spanish(!), told me the space was for men/family only. Wth?

Sure, I noticed guys - several - looking at me. I even heard some talking about me. "Damn...she has green eyes". "Look at her dimples". "She has small, sexy feet". Some guys even infiltrated the conversations women were having. But, when they did, they only talked about work. None of them seemed to make a move.

Let's be clear: some folks got busy. A couple was locked in the downstairs bathroom getting their grooves on/back. And I walked in on one guy with a girl in an upstairs bedroom. BUT, for the most part, the room was divided much the same way a 6th grade dance would be: boys here, girls there.

What is it about us that, even when in a room full of single - and you KNOW that they are single - folks, all of them attractive - that prohibits us from letting down our guards and making that move?

I would have thought that more connections would have been made. Instead, I left (tipsy and happy. Big ups to Reisling!) with business cards and invitations to "e-mail me and I'll tell you more about my company".

*I knew a few of the men at the party from a different life. They were definitely not single, they just weren't married!

**There was, literally, a bowl of Doritos and a bowl of Lays. So much for finger food.

Los and His Big Mouth

I met him on a Thursday.

There I was...in the organic grocery store. I had just left work and was with my mom, of all people.

I saw him as soon as I walked in: tall, bald, dark. Segzy.

He turned around, saw me, walked over, smiled a gazillion dollar smile, grabbed my hand and said "You are coming with me." I walked off with him.

We chatted for ten minutes - while moms watched, lol. He was funny, charming and polite. We exchanged numbers.

I got a call later that evening and we chatted for 20 minutes: it was all very general and very light.

On Sunday, he called to schedule our first date. We started chatting and he started running his mouth. He shared way too much information: told me about a DUI he got years ago, how he was suing the city for the DUI, how his ex-wife was greedy, shared all his hopes and dreams in about 20 minutes.

I wanted to at least have cocktails before we got to this point.

Needless to say, we did not go on that date. I need to phone screen him a bit longer before I meet him somewhere.

Women always get blamed for blabbing too much, too soon. In my experience, it's men who either a) talk too much, b) act crazy at the slightest ''provocation" or c) both.

Why don't men get the credit they are due for being crazy, overly emotional, blabber mouths? They run off just as many women with their antics as women do men.

It's unfair, if you ask me.

Maybe the National Organization of Women will take this up as a cause.

Up next: I've been invited, by a guy friend, to a party for 'single, attractive people'. (I asked if I could bring a friend...he said they need to be screened, first). He is trying to set his single friends up. The soiree is this Saturday. I will attend and report back on the foolishness.

Song of the Week/I Love Men With Egos

I am not a huge Beyonce fan. The girl IS fly...let's give credit where credit is due. But her lack of lyrical depth is not my cup of tea.

Nevertheless, I was taken when I first heard "Ego". No...it's not a musical masterpiece. But I oddly felt like it could be my theme song.

You see, I love men with egos. I do. And I'm not ashamed.

There is something insanely appealing and, dare I say, segzy, about a man with an overload of confidence. Truth be told, I have a huge ego myself (I just do a really great job of hiding it from the world).

Yes, Bey wrote the song for me. And I shall share it with you.

It's been a long time...

It's been quite some time since I've posted, I know.

A lot has happened in my life:

I quit my job (yes, in a bad economy. Sista refuses to be unhappy).

I took a month long vacation - a week in Portugal, 2 weeks and 2 days in Kenya, day and a half in Amsterdam, a week and a half in New Orleans. I then flew back to New Orleans for another week and a half.

In Portugal, on my 3rd day in Lison, I met the cutest Angolan boy at a reggae club that, surprisingly, played only one reggae song. We were inseparable for the next three days: he took me on night time walking tours of the city, to the spots where the 'locals' hang out. I was able to experience the city in a way that most tourists wouldn't.

He ruined it, however, when he asked me to do something extremely obscene. I won't share here (yet)...let's just say I was shocked at the request.

In Kenya I met up with a platonic Kenyan friend who, much to my surprise, had been working out. While at the Masai Mara game reserve, I got a peek at his six pack abs and muscular thighs when he stepped out of the shower in his boxers. We spent three days at the Mara and the rest of my time in Kenya in Nairobi at his parents house. I'm not sure if it was the hot African sun or what...but our relationship changed...in a good way. ;) He later revealed, when I was in New Orleans for mardi gras day, that he had a$$hole tendencies. Luckily, we are still friends.

Amsterdam was pretty uneventful...I did touristy things and then flew on to New Orleans for my first of two mardi gras related trips.

Fast forward to Feb., I'm back in New Orleans and I meet Yoshi, a half Japanese, half black cutie with great conversation. We exchange numbers and he blew me up for quite some time. I stopped answering the phone b/c he seemed quite sex obsessed (no...we didn't do anything, not even kiss) and, besides, he lives in N.O. and I don't.

Since my final return to Chicago, I have been planning my next vacation(s), working like the children are starving and trying to organize my life.

Despite all of my attempts to change, the same men, men who have been around for years, are making guest appearances.

If you recall, I spent quite a bit of time last fall looking for ghosts; now they are looking for ME. EJJ is in town from the U.K. for four months, WT is due here soon.

Should be interesting.

I am back with a vengeance and will post more frequently.

Up next: Los and his big mouth.

Stay tuned.